June 3

The Rule of St. Benedict: Chapter 7 pt. 9

One expectation put upon a Benedictine canon is that she make "a regular practice of confession to [her] priest."  This is one way that a non-cloistered religious is able to forge a spiritual bond with a local parish and thus live out this vocation within a sacramental community.  We must be clear as we engage in such practices, however, that when we reveal all "of the evil thoughts that enter [our] heart or the sins committed in secret" to our priest, we do so to God.  The priest, in this context, is a sort of icon through which we see and experience the Grace and forgiveness of God for our lives.

As an unordained Prior, I am willing to bear with my sisters and brothers the burdens of their hearts, and I will speak words of peace, but my role is not yet a sacramental one.  It is important, then, that we as canons give ourselves over to the Holy Mystery experienced in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, not because we are unforgiven if we don't, but because we seek to cultivate within ourselves the humility our Father Benedict describes.

Br. Chad

June 2

The Second Sunday after Pentecost

Br. Rawleigh's Rite of Profession as a Benedictine canon
Cheryl Fox's and Dick Leopold's Act of First Oblation

The Rule of St. Benedict: Chapter 7 p. 8

The fourth degree of humility is that he hold fast to patience with a silent mind when in this obedience he meets with difficulties and contradictions and even any kind of injustice, enduring all without growing weary or running away.

I find this translation very helpful in understanding this degree of humility.  I struggle daily to "hold fast to patience with a silent mind" in the face of my circumstances.

One reason my grip on patience often slips is because I am actually holding more tightly to my expectations about how the world should appear than I am to my connection to Christ within, a connection maintained through a "silent mind" from which the quality of patience arises.  When I add "Br. Chad being patient" to my list of expectations about how the world ought to be, I am setting myself up to be disappointed.  But when, through persistent spiritual practice, I am empowered to carry a silent mind with me and enabled, by the gift of Grace, to perceive the Christ Reality in the midst of my other sense perceptions, patience holds fast to me.  I am no longer at the mercy of my desires and expectations when I encounter circumstances hostile to them.

Rituals such as our community will experience today often come loaded with many expectations about how life ought to look on the other side of the ceremony.  Part of holding fast to patience with a silent mind is releasing such expectations and opening to the Reality of what is.  We are called to trust God's vested interest in our vocations and formation even when "difficulties and contradictions and even any kind of injustice" invade our circumstances.  May we not grow weary or run away, but rather "take courage and wait for the Lord."

Br. Chad

June 1

St. Justin, Martyr

The Rule of St. Benedict: Chapter 7 pt. 7

This third step, or rung, of humility seems especially hard to climb for us Westerners.  Individualism reigns supreme around here.  If not in the outer realm of Ayn Rand-inspired political positions, it reigns inwardly through our enthroned egos, our unfeigned devotion to "our own truth". Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB writes,

Benedict argues that the third rung on the ladder of humility is the ability to submit ourselves to the wisdom of another. We are not the last word, the final answer, the clearest insight into anything. We have one word among many to contribute to the mosaic of life, one answer of many answers, one insight out of multiple perspectives. Humility lies in learning to listen to the words, directions and insights of the one who is a voice of Christ for me now.

Our Father Benedict's intention is for each human being to discover and live according to his true Self, created as a unique expression of God's own life.  But, ironically, if the only voice we heed is our own, we find ourselves unable to embark on the inner journey, unable to climb the mystical ladder that will, through perseverance, lead us there.

Br. Chad

May 31

Feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary

The Rule of St. Benedict: Chapter 7 pt. 6

We have no greater example of a person who loves not her own will nor takes pleasure in satisfying her own desires than that of The Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of our Lord.  Today's feast celebrates the visit of Mary to her relative, Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, while they were both expecting.  Caryll Houselander has this to say about Mary in the events of the Visitation in her small book, The Reed of God:

And Mary rising up in those days went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Judea. Those days in which she rose on that impulse were the days in which Christ was being formed in her, the impulse was his impulse.  Many women, if they were expecting a child, would refuse to hurry over the hills on a visit of pure kindness.  They would say they had a duty to themselves and to their unborn child which came before anything or anyone else.  The Mother of God considered no such thing.  Elizabeth was going to have a child, too, and although Mary's own child was God, she could not forget Elizabeth's need--almost incredible to us, but characteristic of her.

And further,

If Christ is growing in us, if we are at peace, recollected, because we know that however insignificant our life seems to be, from it he is forming himself; if we go with eager will, in haste, to wherever our circumstances compel us, because we believe that he desires to be in that place, we shall find that we are driven more and more to act on the impulse of his love.  And the answer we shall get from others to the impulses will be an awakening into life, or the leap of joy of the already wakened life within them.

Br. Chad

May 30

Corpus Christi

The Rule of St. Benedict: Chapter 7 pt. 5

In St. Luke's gospel, Jesus describes the "good soil" in the Parable of the Sower as "the ones who, when they hear the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patient endurance."  Goodness in soil is a set of conditions that can come and go and that, without perseverance in maintaining them, are likely to be lost.

As our Father Benedict seeks to orient our hearts towards a pervasive awareness of God's presence in our every moment, he admonishes us to beware of the strong forces within us that would rather operate without the awareness of God.  It is our lusts, our desires that overpower our ability to act reasonably from an honest and good heart, that compromise the conditions of our good soil and prevent us from bearing the fruit we are called to bear into the world.  And if there is anything in the human experience that requires patient endurance and our best effort, it is dealing with the strong forces within us that pull our gaze from the steady gaze of God.  

But God does not leave us alone in this effort.  This passage mentions the role of angels as agents of God's care.  The overwhelming theme of this first step of humility is that we are not alone in our lives, and we ought not pretend that we are.  We move and have our being in realms seen and unseen.

Br. Chad

May 29

The Rule of St. Benedict: Chapter 7 pt. 4

In this passage we learn that not only our thoughts, but our wills and desires are to be subjected to God.  I am unable to think of a value that is held higher in Western culture than that of self-determination, or freedom of will.  Yet this paragraph sets the Rule in diametrical opposition to such a value.  Our Father Benedict instructs us, in light of scripture, to distrust our own will because what seems right to us may lead us to utter destruction.

It's hard to be more countercultural in our context.  How willing are we, really, to follow St. Benedict on a path that begins with rejecting one of our society's most treasured dictums?

As the Prior of The Community of St. Mary of the Annunciation, my vow of obedience was taken to Holy Scripture, to the Rule, and to Jesus Christ himself as my Shepherd.  Self-will is forbidden to me every bit as much as it is forbidden to those who give their obedience to me as the shepherd of this community of canons.  Accepting this role as one who receives a vow of obedience from others is not what I would choose.  I do not desire that others obey me.  I feel unworthy to hold such trust.  Yet, I stood and witnessed the vows of Br. Rawleigh, Sr. Ronda, and Br. Philip as novices, and I will witness this coming Sunday the vows of Br. Rawleigh as a canon and the oblations of Cheryl and Dick as our community's first oblates.  I do so as acts of obedience, not as acts of my own will.  I have been called to stand up and allow my soul to be the icon through which each member of this community gives up his or her self-will to Christ.  May God be my help.

Br. Chad

May 28

The Rule of St. Benedict: Chapter 7 pt. 3

We are called to live in the eternal Now with respect to God because God lives in the eternal Now with respect to us.  The option to turn our attention to God is always available because God, at each moment, inhabits the realm of our inner workings.  Wrongful thoughts are those that make this option difficult to choose, not because God is further away, but because such thoughts overwhelm our perceptions.

St. Benedict reminds me today that I am not the master of anything in my life, not my vocation, not the canon community I shepherd, not even my own thoughts.  In fact, the greatest danger I face as I drape my habit over my head, fasten my belt, and place the cross over my chest is the temptation to pride and vanity that slithers among my semi-conscious thoughts.  If I am to overcome this temptation, I must subject all of myself to the warm, gentle, and piercing light of God, who, my Father Benedict says, is ever present within my mind anyway.  My work is to stop pretending that what I hide from myself and repress deep within is hidden and repressed from God.  God has always seen all of me, and has loved me all along.

Br. Chad