April 30

Chapter 72

The Rule of St. Benedict April 30 (Ch. 72)

I read a book a while back that I've talked about often called Wisdom of the Benedictine Elders.  In it are profiles of and interviews with the oldest living Benedictines in the United States.  One of the questions put to each elder was "What is your favorite chapter in the Rule of Benedict?"  More than any other chapter, chapter 72 On the Good Zeal Which They Ought to Have, was said to be the favorite.

I find much resonance within this chapter as a lifelong church goer and as a vowed religious.  The first sentence rings true as a statement about every community I've ever spent time in.  There is something tangible about the zeal of a group, and the difference between evil and good zeal is as apparent as the difference between a touch of blessing and a slap in the face.  The evil zeal is bitterness, and it separates from God.  If our life's journey was represented on a map, the zeal of bitterness would point us in the direction opposite of where God's is at home.  The good zeal points us precisely in the direction of God's household and our true home.

The difference between these two zeals is found in the depths of our inner life, at the intersection of our emotions, desires, and will.  Good zeal must be cultivated and grown within by our consistent effort and by Divine Grace.  Good zeal is a purse that will not wear out, our treasure stored up in heaven.  Evil zeal is a storehouse of the possessions of our false self that inspire bitterness within as we watch them slowly disintegrate, eaten by rust and moth (Luke 12: 33,34).  We embody one zeal or the other in our lives and in our communities, and those with ears to hear, eyes to see, and hearts to feel will perceive it clearly.

Br. Chad 2013

April 29

Feast of St. Catherine of Siena

Chapter 71

The Rule of St. Benedict April 29 (Ch. 71)

In Gethsemane we witness Jesus fully owning his emotions and desires, bringing them before his Abba whom he trusts, and fully releasing them with, "yet, not what I want, but what you want."

Our Father Benedict teaches us in this chapter that the road of obedience brings us to God, and I perceive that the road of obedience Jesus walked in Gethsemane is the same road we all must walk among our own emotions and desires.  It is a road from total ownership to complete release.

Benedictine obedience comes down the point at which we, in the thick of our emotions and desires submit to another.  It is a painfully difficult practice.  It requires the laying down of whatever story I tell myself that justifies my self-interested feelings and behavior.  And at no time are my self-interested feelings more intense than when I am in conflict.  Yet it is precisely at this point that our Father Benedict instructs us to face the matter head on, putting aside excuses or blame.  He would have us to own and release our feelings of self-interest.

The next time you find yourself being offended, imagine extending a blessing rather than a rebuttal or a curse.  Seek the place within yourself from which you can own your feelings, release them to God, and genuinely offer a blessing to the one who has offended you.  And the next time you find yourself having given offense, imagine setting aside explanations and asking for unqualified forgiveness.  Seek the place within yourself that you do not need to defend, that is safe enough with God that you are able to be wrong.  This is the inner freedom that St. Benedict seeks to cultivate within us.

Br. Chad 2013

April 28

The Fifth Sunday of Easter

Chapter 70

The Rule of St. Benedict April 28 (Ch. 70)

I have often found it easy to set myself up as judge and executer.  From my perspective trapped behind my two small eyes, I succumb to the temptation to act as though I see the world as it is, unadorned and objective.  My angry reactions are then justified as acts of defense in the service of Truth and Justice.  Our Father Benedict seeks to uproot this disposition here in Chapter 70.  Sr. Joan comments,

Benedictine spirituality depended on personal commitment and community support, not on intimidation and brutality.  Benedict makes it clear that the desire for good is no excuse for the exercise of evil on its behalf. . . . To become what we hate--as mean as the killers, as obsessed as the haters--is neither the goal nor the greatness of the spiritual life.

As Benedictines, let us consider carefully the posture we assume with each other, with those we encounter in our daily lives, and with our ideological adversaries.  As much as it appears at times to be the case, God has not set us up as vigilantes for God's own Truth.

Br. Chad 2013

April 27

Christina Rossetti, poet

Chapter 69

The Rule of St. Benedict April 27 (Ch. 69)

An unspoken assumption in this chapter provides a key to understanding its deepest meaning.  The assumption is that God is the one against whom any act of defense is undertaken in a Benedictine community.  Each member has handed himself over totally to being formed by God, a sacred pact that must not be compromised by even the best of intentions.  Sr. Joan reflects,

In a life dedicated to spiritual growth and direction, there is no room for multiple masters. Friends who protect us from our need to grow are not friends at all.  People who allow a personal agenda, our need to be right or their need to shield, block the achievement of a broader vision in us and betray us.

It takes profound trust and true discipline both to submit to being formed and to keep from acting in another's defense when we perceive the need for protection or intervention on her behalf.  None of us can do the hard work of another's formation.  Each of us must entrust each other to the Master.

Br. Chad 2013

April 26

Chapter 68

The Rule of St. Benedict April 26 (Ch. 68)

Until one faces one's own resistance and overcomes one's own sense of inability, a human being is confined within the boundaries of personal desire, preference, and fear.  We are often in need of a firm shove if we are to transgress those boundaries.  Our Father Benedict desires to lead us beyond our self-imposed borders into an experience of Divine union wherein it is not our personal identities, but God's creative work in the world around us that guides our movement.  We are to become vessels of Spirit, channels of Power through which the Kingdom of Heaven flows into our circumstances.

Each small breakthrough in the matter of prayer practice, in study, in work frees us more and more to listen to and obey God's voice rather than the voice of our resistance.  Each time we find that we were wrong about our inabilities, we find it easier to accept that we are not the designers of our own lives, that a larger Purpose is at play through us.  Each step outside of our own boundaries confirms the truth of the opening line of Psalm 127: "Unless the LORD builds the house, their labor is in vain who build it."

Br. Chad 2013

April 25

Chapter 67

The Rule of St. Benedict April 25 (Ch. 67)

Once again, the passage for the day is eerily relevant for my circumstances.  On a day that I couldn't post in the morning due to my accommodations in Denver, we have a chapter about what is expected of brothers who are sent away from their community on a journey.  I feel the truth of this passage today about the spiritual effects of traveling outside of one's element.

I have often experienced the effects of this spiritual reality in my life and work in churches.  Each person brings with her to church an invisible crowd of other people and past experiences that affect the spiritual climate of the gathering.  Sometimes the presence of this unseen crowd is overwhelming.  Sometimes it's easy to ignore.

In a Benedictine community, ignoring it is not an option, so St. Benedict wisely makes the unseen dynamics explicit by establishing a protocol whereby the spiritual climate of the community can be cleansed. When we commit ourselves to a vowed life in a religious community, we place ourselves at the mercy of each other's inner well-being.  In a significant way, we release our right to carry our baggage alone and claim that its dark contents are nobody's business.  We own the fact that we were never successful in the first place at keeping the contents from spilling out onto the people around us.  With the illusion of independence removed and replaced with mutual commitment and compassion, we are able to unpack our bags in safety and begin the hard work of bringing what has sat in long darkness into the Light.

Br. Chad 2013

April 24

Chapter 66

The Rule of St. Benedict April 24 (Ch. 66)

Over the last school year, I have felt much like the porter at our parish.  The circumstances of my life have been such that I am physically at the church for most of the working hours of the week.  I keep the front gate and door open, and when I hear the clicking of the latch, the squeaking of the hinges, and the banging of the heavy wood against the frame down the hall, I rise from my work and stand to greet whomever will appear momentarily at the entrance to the church office.

The disposition of the porter towards the visitor that our Father Benedict describes in this chapter is a tall order to fulfill.  St. Benedict is not simply interested in a butler's formal, detached politeness, but in a genuine celebration of the presence of Christ in the person of the uninvited guest.  Such a disposition cannot be snapped into place like a clip-on bow tie, but must abide already in one's heart, awaiting the opportunity to be called forth.

The role of the porter offers a view of an inner posture that St. Benedict desires for us all to assume.  It is a posture that receives whatever may come with an eye for where God is in it.  It is a posture that remains free from entanglement within the deadlines and agendas that keep us from perceiving and welcoming Christ in the moment.

Most of us have a busy day ahead of us.  There is a lot to get done.  Nevertheless, let us listen today for when when Christ comes banging through some door, and let us rise to receive his blessing.

Br. Chad 2013

April 23

Feast of St. George

Chapter 65 pt. 2

The Rule of St. Benedict April 23 (Ch. 65 pt. 2)

Our Father Benedict goes to great lengths in this chapter to make very clear that the Abbot is in charge and that there is no question whatsoever about under whom the Prior serves.  Let us remember, though, that the authority exercised by the Abbot is in the spirit of Christ, not in the spirit of the world around us.  Christlike authority can hold in tension the two statements: "All authority on heaven and on earth has been given to me" and "not my will, but yours be done."

A Benedictine community is to be centered around the mystical reality of a soul's union with God and with others.  Just as Christ lives to remove that which separates from God and each other, the Abbot holds the space in community for this reality to manifest.  Conflicts of the nature described in this passage serve to shift focus from this central intention of the group onto, as Sr. Joan says, "the multiple minor agendas of its members. At that moment, the mystical dimension of the community turns into just one more arm wrestling match among contenders."

Br. Chad 2013

April 22

Chapter 65 pt. 1

The Rule of St. Benedict April 22 (Ch. 65 pt. 1)

St. Benedict was no stranger to the nitty gritty of institutional authority dynamics.  Clearly he had seen enough trouble around the issue of appointing a Prior that he saw fit in this passage to shed light on the primary circumstances surrounding that trouble.  But the root of this trouble is deeper and more basic to the human experience than the circumstances described here.  The root is egoic self-interest attached to a position of leadership.  When leadership is exercised in the interest of the leader, it is not leadership in the Spirit of Christ.

The Christ leads as a servant, leads as a slave--humble, poor, marginalized--without attachment to the interests of the small self.  A leader with the eyes of Christ perceives the true needs of the one who rises up to usurp her authority.  A leader with the heart of Christ desires to fulfill that true need, even if it is at the expense of her egoic and bodily well-being.  Such a leader can genuinely utter the words, "Abba, forgive them, for they know not what they do," in the wake of betrayal, a sham trial, and from the midst of a brutal execution.

Br. Chad 2013

April 21

Fourth Sunday of Easter
Good Shepherd Sunday

Chapter 64 pt. 2

The Rule of St. Benedict April 21 (Ch. 64 pt. 2)

This passage paints a picture of authority in the idiom of Christ that is full, wise, and beautiful.  Returning to it three times a year as I read through the Rule clears my vision and strengthens my intention, and its falling on Good Shepherd Sunday this year adds depth to its message.  Inasmuch as I am called by God to be a shepherd in community, I desire to lead in this manner and no other.

A poignant example from this passage of our Father Benedict's vision of authority:

Let her be discrete and moderate, bearing in mind the discretion of holy Jacob, who said, "If I cause my flocks to be overdriven, they will all die in one day."  Taking this, then, and other examples of discretion, the mother of virtues, let her so temper all things that the strong may have something to strive after, and the weak may not fall back in dismay.

And another:

Let her know that her duty is rather to profit her sisters than to preside over them. She must therefore be learned in the divine law, that she may have a treasure of knowledge from which to bring forth new things and old. 

And remembering our host parish priest, Fr. Gil, and his modeling of "non-anxious presence" in our midst:

Let her not be excitable and worried, nor exacting and headstrong, nor jealous and over-suspicious; for then she is never at rest.  

Thanks be to Christ, our Good Shepherd, for his wisdom that has cleared a path for us to walk and for those good shepherds in whose footsteps we can place our own unsteady feet.

Br. Chad 2013

April 20

Chapter 64 pt. 1

The Rule of St. Benedict April 20 (Ch. 64 pt. 1)

This passage calls to mind the need for any Benedictine community to be in transparent relationship with the wider Church in which it finds itself.  Although St. Benedict's vision for a monastery is non-diocesan, he clearly intends that each community will be intimately connected to the life of the diocese in which it is located and to other monasteries.  Such connection is built into the structure of the Canon Communities of St. Benedict, each of which is hosted by a local parish with the approval of the priest and bishop.

I'm struck by how intent our Father Benedict is to establish a structure of authority that is the antithesis of worldly power.  Worldly power is always self-interested, but here the Superior is chosen by the community to serve God's intention, not their own perceived needs.  And if the community chooses someone "who will acquiesce in their vices," St. Benedict relies upon the wider Christian community to perceive God's intentions and intervene.  It is commonly expressed that the Rule of St. Benedict is hierarchical and authoritative with a heavy focus upon abbatial obedience, but we see here that it is Christ alone whose authority is to be revered in a Benedictine community, not that of any human.

Br. Chad 2013

April 19

Alphage, Archbishop of Canterbury and Martyr

Chapter 63 pt. 2

The Rule of St. Benedict April 19 (Ch. 63 pt. 2)

The practice of the Canon Communities of St. Benedict is for canons and novices to take on the title of sister or brother when they take their vows.  This practice brings the reality of the community very close to home, as our Father Benedict indicates in this passage.  We take on a formal identity in our relationships with each other when we enter into religious life, and it is appropriate for our names to reflect it.

This passage also has much to offer us as we live out our Benedictine lives in a parish setting.  The way in which we think about, talk about/to, and treat the elders and the juniors in our parish is an important matter.  I have been guilty harboring ungracious thoughts about some in the older generation at our church.  I hear from this passage that it is mine to lay aside my own sense of entitlement and/or rightness in the face of the inevitable conflicts of interest that will arise in a multi-generational community.  We are to practice deference and gracious concern for the best interest of every person in our parishes, old and young, rich and poor, grumpy and cheerful.

Br. Chad 2013

April 18

Chapter 63 pt. 1

The Rule of St. Benedict April 18 (Ch. 63 pt. 1)

I experienced the system of community ranking at St. Gregory's Abbey during my two weeks there in July of 2011.  What Sr. Joan points out, that the effect of such a ranking is egalitarian given the class system outside the monastery, seemed to ring true.  The places in choir and the seats in the refectory were the only two applications of the ranking that I experienced as a member of the Summer Vocation Program.  I remember an immediate sense of comfort in knowing that my seats were assigned, that I didn't need to jockey for position.  As other vocationers left, I went from the 9th position, to the 6th, to the 3rd, which had the effect in me of deepening my sense of belonging at the monastery rather than any feelings of superiority over those in lower positions.

While the structures within which we live seem at times indestructible, they will all pass away: nation/states, ecclesiological institutions, the villages we inhabit, our very families.  Nothing on earth lasts forever.  We are to live in light of life's eternal purpose, then, unencumbered by wealth or power or prestige, free to love and welcome what is.

Our Father Benedict's system of community ranking is intended to prepare us for life in God's household by setting up a structure that tears down all other structures. One is unable to keep hold of the positions one has inherited or earned outside the community.  There is only the date of entry--the time at which one's intention to be conformed to the likeness of Christ was formally taken up.  The new structure is not indestructible either.  It will also pass away, like countless raided and burned monasteries throughout history.  But a Benedictine learns to live in light of eternity rather than only in light of the temporal.

Br. Chad 2013

April 17

Chapter 62

The Rule of St. Benedict April 17 (Ch. 62)

This chapter underscores the story of my dual vocation as a vowed religious and (future, by the will of God and the consent of the bishop,) priest, and it provides a great deal of insight into the dynamics I encounter as I make my way forward.  Our Father Benedict is very clear that the religious identity is to occupy the primary place in the life of a Benedictine priest.  He writes,

But let the one who is to be ordained beware of self-exultation or pride; and let him not presume to do anything except what is commanded him by the Abbot . . . Nor should he by reason of his priesthood forget the obedience and the discipline of the Rule, but make ever more and more progress towards God.

I have taken vows of stability and conversion to a monastic way of living, a component part of which is becoming, as Sr. Joan reflects, "a community person whose sanctification hinges on being open to being shaped by the word of God in the human community around us."  It is incumbent upon me, therefore, to satisfy the requirements of my bishop for ordination in such a way that does not compromise my spiritual formation as a member of my Benedictine community or my role in the formation of my brothers and sisters.  For some this path might seem constraining, but for those of us who are so called, it is a gentle road on which our willingness to be limited and vulnerable is met with grace upon grace upon grace.

Br. Chad 2013

April 16

Chapter 61 pt. 2

The Rule of St. Benedict April 16 (Ch. 61 pt. 2)

The spirit of hospitality in this chapter is not separate from the spirit of discernment.  The welcome is of the visiting monastic as she is, and the ear of the community is tuned to hear what God has to say through the presence of the visitor.  Our father Benedict makes it clear, however, that the community is likewise responsible to perceive clearly whether that presence is helpful or harmful and to act accordingly.

Among the most powerfully transformative experiences I've had in recent years are those in which I have consciously participated in discerning who is safe and who is not when it comes to intimacy and shared life.  I have been made aware of ways in which I have not been safe for others and ways in which others have not been safe for me and for my family.  Such discernment processes are not comfortable or pleasant, and they often involve tension around idealized versions of the values of hospitality and welcome.  Yet, if such discernment does not take place, an individual, a family, and/or a community is placed at the mercy of those who are unrepentant of their dysfunctions, and, as our Father Benedict indicates, the corruption of others is not far behind.

True hospitality is not blind to the brokenness that accompanies each human being.  It does not deny the dangers that accompany the person who refuses to be mended.  True hospitality is not accompanied by a need to call evil good.

Br. Chad 2013

Homily: Nurturing the Beloved Child

A brief homily* I preached at St. Mary's Episcopal Church on April 11, 2013 during a Solemn High Mass in celebration of the Feast of the Annunciation.  

Nurturing the Beloved Child

1).

I want to cast a scene for you.

Picture a mother nursing a baby boy in a rocking chair.  It’s evening, a lamp dimly lights the room, the boy is dressed in a one-piece sleeper, the mother in a simple cotton nightgown.  You hear the creak of the rocker, the gentle suckle, and a whispered soprano:

Safe am I, safe am I in the hollow of God’s hand.  Sheltered o’er, sheltered o’er in God’s love forevermore.  No ill can harm me, no foe alarm me, for God keeps both day and night.  Safe am I, safe am I in the hollow of God’s hand.

Every night it’s the same scene: the baby is held close, feels the warm, sweet milk fill his belly, hears the creaking of the chair and this song.  And the boy drifts off to sleep with the words, “Safe am I, safe am I,” still kissing his ears.

There is a kind of knowing taking place here by this baby boy before language has any meaning for him.  This is the knowledge of belovedness, what developmental experts call attachment.  You can screw up a lot as a parent, but as long as you succeed in planting this knowledge deep within your child, 99% of your God-given work is done.

When the angel Gabriel was sent to a town in Galilee called Nazareth with a message for a frightened young girl, he told her that she had found favor with God.  What did this favor entail?  Could it be that God believed he could trust St. Mary with the sacred vocation of planting the essential knowledge of belovedness deep within his own Son, out of whom that knowledge would be emptied when he would be born in human likeness and nursed at her breast?

And could it be this sacred vocation that St. Mary accepted with her words, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord, let it be with me according to your word”?

2).

God does not call us to trifling vocations in which God has little vested interest.  There are no inconsequential Divine intentions upon our lives.  Through the Annunciation of our Lord to the Blessed Virgin Mary we see that when God calls a faithful servant, God goes all in—God risks everything. 

And when we respond to God’s call with the openness of will, the faithfulness, the obedience of St. Mary at the Annunciation, we offer ourselves to channel the unimaginable designs of God into the world.

As Fr. Gerard Manley Hopkins, S.J. put it so well:

Wild air, world-mothering air . . .

Of her flesh he took flesh:

He does take fresh and fresh,

Though much the mystery how,

Not flesh but spirit now,

And makes, O marvellous!

New Nazareths in us,

Where she shall yet conceive

Him, morning, noon, and eve,

New Bethlems, and he born

There, evening, noon, and morn- 

Amen.

Br. Chad 2013

* A different version of this homily was published here in March 2012 as "Reclaiming the Beloved Child."

April 15

Chapter 61 pt. 1

The Rule of St. Benedict April 15 (Ch. 61 pt. 1)

Today's passage from the Rule is a good reminder of our patron's feast we celebrated a week ago today.  A Benedictine community is instructed here to open itself to receive from God whatever God has to give through the presence of the visiting monastic. This is a posture of the heart that Caryll Houselander identifies as the "virginal quality" embodied by St. Mary.  Listen to her words from The Reed of God.

"That virginal quality, which, for want of a better word, I call emptiness is the beginning of contemplation. 

It is not a formless emptiness, a void without meaning; on the contrary it has a shape, a form given to it by the purpose for which it was intended. 

It is emptiness like the hollow in a reed, the narrow riftless emptiness which can only have one destiny: to receive the piper's breath and to utter the song that is in his heart. 

It is emptiness like the hollow in the cup, shaped to receive water or wine.
It is an emptiness like that of a bird's nest, built in a warm, round ring to receive the little bird. 

The pre-Advent emptiness of our Lady's purposeful virginity was indeed like those three things. 

She was a reed through which the Eternal Love was to be piped as a shepherd's song. 

She was a flowerlike chalice into which the purest water of humanity was to be poured, mingled with wine, changed to the crimson blood of love and lifted up in sacrifice. 

She was the warm nest rounded to the shape of humanity to receive the Divine Little Bird."

 We are each to seek this virginal quality within ourselves.  We are each "to receive the piper's breath and utter the song that is in his heart."  We are each to free ourselves from our attachments to the particulars of our circumstantial landscape so that we can welcome the Divine Word that seeks a channel into the world.

Br. Chad 2013

April 14

The Third Sunday of Easter

Chapter 60

The Rule of St. Benedict April 14 (Ch. 60)

St. Benedict's question from the Gospel of Matthew, "Friend, for what have you come?" is a question we each must consider regularly as we orient ourselves along the path we are called to follow.  Whether one's vocation is religious, priestly, diaconal, lay, or some combination thereof, the soul's answer to this question looks no different than the answers of those to whom our Father Benedict posed the question in the sixth century.

A Benedictine's answer to this central question is found back in the Prologue to the Rule.  We come to be formed in the likeness of Christ--as souls in which God is fully at home--by means, as Sr. Joan writes, of "a way of life immersed in the Scriptures, devoted to the common life, and dedicated to the development of human community . . . simple, regular, and total, a way of living . . ."

When we have walked a long while on a certain path, it is to be expected that challenges will arise when we are called to change course and follow a different way.  Our ability to persist in the face of these challenges depends on the clarity of our our intention, on our firm answer to our Father Benedict's question, "For what have you come?"

Br. Chad 2013

April 13

Chapter 59

The Rule of St. Benedict April 13 (Ch. 59)

Of the many issues at play in this chapter, I am drawn to that which our Father Benedict says has been "learned by experience" about the erosion of zeal over time.  Sr. Joan reflects,

The fact is that when the full realization of what we have promised begins to dawn on us, it is often more common to come to dubious terms with the demise of the commitment than it is to quit it.

The solution, as presented in this chapter, is what she calls "the spirituality of the long haul." She continues,

We must learn to complete in faith what we began in enthusiasm; we must learn to be true to ourselves; we must continue to become what we said we would be, even when accommodation to the immediate seems to be so much more sensible, so much more reasonable, so much easier.  

One practical example of this tendency can be seen in my own life over the nearly 11 months since my profession.  I've found that the amount of effort it takes to overcome the inertia that keeps me in the mold of "secular" life is more than I had anticipated.  It's a matter of habit, yes, but it's also a losing sight of what I said I would be when I professed my vows.  The social reality, "mother culture", as it were, has proved stronger at times than my will to live out of my new identity.

I imagine that the experience was much the same for the families described in Chapter 59.  The inertia towards passing down wealth and privilege to one's children is difficult to overcome, especially as the months and years wear on and the enthusiasm surrounding the oblation wears off. 

Intentions must be renewed regularly in every community that seeks to radically re-orient the cultural dispositions of human life.  The Community of St. Mary of the Annunciation is no different.

Br. Chad 2013

April 12

Chapter 58 pt. 2

The Rule of St. Benedict April 12 (Ch. 58 pt. 2)

The ceremony here is much like the ceremony of a marriage in which one's identity shifts before God and the community--what used to be many is now one.  Ceremonies surrounding sacramental mysteries are full of rich imagery and ritual that are meant to convey outwardly, in a physical way, that an unseen reality, an "inward grace", is at play. In a wedding, the inward grace is the mystical union of two souls in Christ.  In a profession rite, the inward grace is one soul's mystical union with the community in Christ.  And as anyone who has taken vows knows, such unseen realities require persistent effort and intention if they are to manifest in the relational dynamics we inhabit.

Those who were present at St. Augustine's on the Day of Pentecost last year witnessed a version of the ceremony described in this passage when I professed my solemn vows of stability, conversion (reformation of life), and obedience as a Benedictine canon.  Shortly afterwards, Br. Rawleigh and Sr. Ronda began their year of discernment and the testing of their vocations as canons when they became novices, and now Br. Philip has begun his.  Together we comprise The Community of St. Mary of the Annunciation and are seeking to manifest through our faithful prayers and practice a relational dynamic that reflects the inward grace we enacted in ceremony.  I ask your prayers for our community and for those in various stages of approach, whether they are knocking on the proverbial door or staying in the guest quarters.  May the Spirit of Christ and of his blessed Mother be ever more palpable in our midst.

Br. Chad 2013

April 11

Chapter 58 pt. 1

The Rule of St. Benedict April 11 (Ch. 58 pt. 1)

As foreign as this passage sounds to modern ears, I find great comfort in its description of the long, slow, deliberate process by which one comes into the community.  Br. Philip's gentle journey into the novitiate is a wonderful example of this principle.  It's the polar opposite of a tent meeting revival in which life-changing decisions are supposed to be made once and for all in an instant of skillfully generated religious sentiment.  Such revival-inspired spirituality is psychologically naïve and creates problems of identity and belonging such as those I experienced during my childhood alongside my earnest evangelical peers.  "Did I really mean it when I went forward to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Savior?"  "I don't feel saved, maybe I didn't mean it."  "If I were really saved, I wouldn't be struggling with these sinful thoughts; I better go forward and pray 'the prayer' again."  These quotes are not exaggerated or a caricature of a stereotype.  They are a window into the mind of a boy who is told to expect a wholesale change of life in an instant, but finds the same kid in the mirror the next morning.

Our Father Benedict holds no such illusions about the psychological realities we face as human beings. Real transformation occurs over the course of a lifetime, and even the decision to be formed cannot be entered into on impulse.  We must know exactly what we are getting ourselves into before we are allowed to promise our always and forever.

Br. Chad 2013

April 10

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Chapter 57

The Rule of St. Benedict April 10 (Ch. 57)

My son, Ira, believes that everything is art.  When pressed for clarification by his older brother or by his parents he simply asserts that everything, in its own way, is art.  He is quite insistent.  He has not arrived at this belief by careful reasoning and study of philosophical aesthetics, but by means of the way the world comes to him and moves through him.  Ira is an artist.  He attends to a set of phenomena in everyday life that escapes the notice of most people.  This capacity to perceive is not something he learned as much as it is something he bears into the world.  Sometimes it is a burden for him, but most of the time it is a gift for all of us.

The fact that our Father Benedict makes room in the community for Ira is a source of great joy for me.  It can be challenging to share life with an artist, especially with regard to creating structure and order according to an imposed standard, or rule.  Yet, as my dear friend, the principal of a secondary school for the arts, has taught me, providing a clear and livable structure wherein daily life and art are carefully integrated is salvation for artists and their art.

Benedictine spirituality does not squelch creativity and stamp out the inner light that burns in an artist's soul.  It tends the fire by building a furnace and carrying the wood and channeling the life-giving heat as a gift for the world.

Br. Chad 2013

April 9

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, theologian and martyr

Chapter 56

The Rule of St. Benedict April 9 (Ch. 56)

This little chapter shows the importance of caring for the needs of the guest, the outsider, the one who does not belong.  The Superior holds the place of Christ, and Benedict would have her behavior mirror Jesus' in this act of eating with those outside the community.  We see here the (super)natural flow of spiritual formation from a disposition inward, cultivating knowledge and love of God, to a disposition outward, practicing love of neighbor.

Sr. Joan offers,

It was the abbot and prioress themselves who showed the community the price and the process of availability and hospitality and presence to the other.  Hospitality was not a warm meal and a safe haven. Hospitality in the Benedictine community was attention and presence to the needs of the other. . . . And, as the presence of the abbot and prioress proves, none of us can afford to be too busy or too important to do the same.

Br. Chad 2013

April 8

Feast of the Annunciation of our Lord (transferred)

Last evening we welcomed Br. Philip McKindley as a novice in the Community of St. Mary of the Annunciation during First Vespers of this, our patron's feast.  Join me in prayer for Br. Philip and for our community as we enter this new stage in life together.

Chapter 55 pt. 2

The Rule of St. Benedict April 8 (Ch. 55 pt. 2)

I have had the privilege of walking alongside parents of a child with reactive attachment disorder, and this passage reminds me of many issues they face.  Attachment disorders occur when a person does not form the normal attachments to a parent or primary caregiver during early childhood.  The result is a human being who believes, on a primal level, that she must fend for herself in a hostile world that does not meet her needs.  Children with these disorders can be, in turn, violent, charming, hoarding, indiscriminately affectionate, sneaky, and self-harming among other things. 

I don't think it's a stretch to say that the Rule of our Holy Father Benedict is therapy for a soul that has lost its attachment to God.  Benedict's instructions can seem harsh until you realize the nature of the illness that needs to be cured.  The sort of love that is willing to bear the bruises of a screaming, striking child in a calm, firm, four-limbed embrace while repeating the words, "You are safe; I will not let anyone harm you; I love you," is the kind of love displayed here by our Father Benedict.

Awakening to those things we keep hidden in our bed and facing, forgiving, and healing the child within who does not trust God is among the most difficult and beautiful work a human being can do.  And it is work we do from the midst of God's firm, unyielding love.

Br. Chad 2013

April 7

The Second Sunday of Easter

Chapter 55 pt. 1

The Rule of St. Benedict April 7 (Ch. 55 pt. 1)

The Middle School my oldest son attends has returned to the practice of requiring a uniform to be worn on campus.  It is claimed that such a practice eliminates one way that middle and high schoolers regularly go about distinguishing themselves from one another in order to gain attention, display wealth, or identify themselves with a group.  While clearly there are other ways to gain distinction and do these sorts of things, the requirement to wear a specific uniform can often be a relief to students.  One major weight seems to be lifted from the minds and hearts of pre-teens and teenagers during a critical developmental period in their lives.  Everyone, at least when it comes to clothes, is in the same boat at school.

Benedict's instructions on dress seem to be a part of his overall approach to life in common.  It boils down to the point at which we each release our claim on Creation as one who must obtain, possess, and secure resources and distinction.  I hear Jesus' words in Matthew 6 echoed here: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear."  This is a crucial and difficult component of the process of inner transformation that our Father Benedict seeks to further among us.

Br. Chad 2013

April 6

Saturday in Easter Week

Chapter 54

The Rule of St. Benedict April 6 (Ch. 54)

On this final day of Easter Week, let us attend to that within us which seeks to control the ongoing process of resurrection in our lives and in the lives of those we love.  These are mountains brought low to prepare the way of the Lord.

And let us also attend to that within us which feels unworthy to receive from the generous hand of God.  These are valleys raised up.

When the Lord's path into or lives is level, we are able to receive God and bear God into the world, to embody in our lives the power of the resurrection, and joyfully offer what has been entrusted to us for the benefit of all.

Br. Chad 2013

April 5

Friday in Easter Week

the Rule of St. Benedict April 5 (Ch 53 pt. 2)

Regarding this passage, Sr. Joan points out that Benedictine monasteries functioned as a hospice system within early Medieval Europe, with a constant flow of guests from all walks of life, and the instructions here about a separate kitchen and quarters for guests enabled the monastery to still be a monastery despite the traffic.  Part of the way the monastic atmosphere was to be preserved was for the instructions at the end of Chapter 53 to be followed regarding the interactions of monks with guests.  Monks are to be humble and kind to guests, but not necessarily nice.

Niceness, a perceived affect according to social norms, is a poor substitute for kindness, which is a genuine concern for the well-being of the other.  It is easy for some of us to confuse smiles and pleasant tones of voice with the things that make for true kindness and hospitality.  If we continue in this confusion for long enough, we become unable to distinguish between kindness and unkindness, hospitality and inhospitality.

My experience growing up as a person who was considered to be nice is that niceness is entirely oriented outwardly. It is something one measures by what bounces back from the exterior of other people. My developing ego was very successful at getting what it needed from this external exchange, and I have come to realize that being nice usually serves to keep me self-absorbed--caught up in my own self-interest. People who are regarded as reserved or distant, on the other hand, may exhibit self-absorption differently, but it's still oriented outwardly--concerned with relational or circumstantial phenomena--and it serves their self-interest as well. 

It is possible for one person to be nice without being self-absorbed, and it's possible for another person to be reserved without being self-absorbed, but it's a matter of perceiving clearly what our motives are and developing a sense of ourselves that is derived from our inner and true identity, our life hidden with Christ in God. When we act from that place, we are able to be truly kind.

 Br. Chad 2013

April 4

Thursday in Easter Week

Chapter 53 pt. 1

The Rule of St. Benedict April 4 (Ch. 53 pt.1)

It is well worth reading all of Sr. Joan Chittister's commentary for today's passage.  Regarding receiving the unknown guest into the midst of the community, she writes,

The message to the stranger is clear: Come right in and disturb our perfect lives.  You are Christ for us today.

And to assure us all, guest and monastic alike, that this hospitality is an act of God that we are undertaking, the community and the guest pray together first and then extend the kiss of welcome so that it is understood that our welcome is not based on human measurements alone: we like you, we're impressed with you, you look like our kind, you're clean and scrubbed and minty-breathed and worthy of our attention. 

There are many ways in which we all have occasion to practice the essence of this hospitality our Father Benedict describes, and many ways that we can forsake it. When it comes to being hospitable to the poor, in whom Christ is "especially" received, a reflection from the Rev. Robert Berra, our good friend, is helpful to consider:

Every time I see people try to weasel out of a charitable human spirit, I remember that an antidote to it is found in --of all places-- the Christian Patristic Fathers. 

Gregory Nazienzen, a bishop in the 370s, confronted reasons people give to not help the poor, reasons that are as familiar to us as they were to Gregory: some people deserve to be poor, they brought it upon themselves, there is "not enough", or it's a punishment from God. Gregory will have none of it. In fact, in the face of these objections, service to the poor is necessary so that we might "restrain those who have such an attitude towards [the poor], and [that we] might not give in to their foolish arguments, making cruelty into a law turned against our very selves."

Br. Chad 2013

April 3

Wednesday in Easter Week

Chapter 52

The Rule of St. Benedict April 3 (Ch. 52)

"[T]o know God in time and space we must regularly seek to find God in one time and space that enables us to recognize God more easily in every other one," concludes Sr. Joan's commentary on Chapter 52.

At St. Gregory's Abbey I witnessed the value of a space being set aside as the oratory in which nothing but prayer was done.  The church stands soaked in the prayers of the resident community.  For more than 70 years the monks have gathered 7 times a day to chant the Psalms, celebrate daily Eucharist, light incense and candles, read the Scriptures, and sit in silence within the wooden walls of the abbey church.  It is a living and holy place.

During the last week of April last year, I was alone at St. Augustine's on Tuesday.  As had been my practice, I went to St. James Chapel, off the narthex of the main church building where our columbarium and votive candle stand make their home, to pray at noon.  Instead of lighting the altar candles, sitting down, opening my prayer books, and getting on with it, however, I felt compelled to begin moving furniture.  I experienced a strange mix of exhilaration and guilt as I began to slide the pews and move the banners and flags that had gathered haphazardly around the small space.  It was almost as though the chapel was asking me to re-imagine its use and to set it aside for prayer and only prayer.  The pews found their way into an antiphonal seating arrangement with a lectern and candle stand in the center, facing the altar.  It wanted to become a Benedictine oratory.  I thought for sure I had done something that would not bode well with the altar guild and others in the congregation, and that I would have to return the chapel to its former state before Sunday.  I quickly and dismissively said as much to Fr. Gil the next morning as we walked over from the office we shared to see what I had done.  But rather than disapproval, the transformed chapel was met with enthusiastic support by Fr. Gil, the chair of the altar guild, and all who entered.

St. James Chapel is the oratory for the Community of St. Mary of the Annunciation.  It is being soaked in our prayers and the prayers of the saints it houses in its very walls.  It is becoming our living and holy place.  I welcome all who will to join me in the oratory for Matins at 9am, Midday Prayers at noon, and/or Evensong at 4:30pm every weekday.

Br. Chad 2013

April 2

Tuesday in Easter Week

Chapter 51

The Rule of St. Benedict April 2 (Ch. 51)

At first glance, this chapter seems a bit bizarre.  What's the big deal about accepting hospitality when outside the monastery on business?

To make sense of it, I find it helpful to remember that the table and the oratory are the two pillars of community life for a Benedictine.  When one takes vows to become a member of a Benedictine community, then, the table becomes an important crucible of formation along the path laid out by our Father Benedict, a path one has vowed to walk.  To sit at another table without permission from the community is to say, "I am not bound by my vows.  I do not need the common table."  And so, as we discussed during the chapters about the discipline of the Rule, the natural consequence for such behavior is to be excluded from the community table in order to bring into sharp relief the choice one faces between life inside or life outside of the community.

Br. Chad 2013

April 1

Monday in Easter Week

Chapter 50

The Rule of St. Benedict April 1 (Ch. 50)

"[W]hen the ideal [of community prayer, the Opus Dei,] is confronted by the real, Benedict opts for the sanctification of the real rather than the idealization of the holy," writes Sr. Joan in her commentary on Chapter 50.  This little chapter is of central importance for those of us who seek to practice Benedictine disciplines outside of the cloister.  We must be about the sanctification of the real, if we are to have any hope of staying remotely close to the path that our Father Benedict has laid out.

One way we sanctify the real is by finding the circumstances of our real life in stories of the Faith.  This is how human beings have embodied the Divine Presence in the mundane settings we call "real" for thousands of years.  This season of Easter is full of stories in which we can find the stuff of our real lives.  As we wrestle with the deaths and resurrections we experience and negotiate the terms of the New Life God has given, we find ourselves walking the road the Emmaus or having our love questioned by the Lord on a beach in Galilee.  And next Monday we will be called to find our voice to speak St. Mary's words, "Here am I, the servant of the Lord, let it be with me according to your word," on the transferred Feast of the Annunciation, April 8.

As Benedictines, our experience during this and every season is shaped by the luminous Presence embodied by St. Benedict of Nursia, who teaches us that shaping our real lives around daily prayer is the place to begin our work of sanctifying the real.

Br. Chad 2013