Chapter 7 pt. 4
The Rule of Benedict January 28
I am unable to think of a value that is held higher in Western culture than that of self-determination, or freedom of will. Yet this paragraph sets Benedict in diametrical opposition to such a value. Benedict instructs us, in light of scripture, to distrust our own will because what seems right to us may lead us to utter destruction.
It's hard to be more countercultural in our context. How willing are we, really, to follow Benedict on a path that begins with rejecting one of our society's most treasured dictums?
I won't pretend to have an answer that, Chad. Just to say that in my experience, finding that my life is not all about the pursuit of my own desires attained by the strength of my will was an idea easy to accept after repeated failures and disappointments. More often than not I never did succeed at the things that were to put me on the path toward my dreams. I was driven by a sincere desire to cultivate my intellect, but I've never been a stellar student, never scored well on tests, never got into elite programs. Moreover, when I did succeed, it wasn't enough. So I got into this or that program or got to do research on this or that...no matter what it was I was never satisfied.
ReplyDeleteOur own wills are hopelessly fickle and will never satisfy us. Unless, that is, we work to align our own will with that of God. Which is, of course, a lifetime's work.
After posting this I realized how apropos it is to our conversation last night. That is, those who are weak and know their weaknesses are truly blessed. What if I were an excellent student and managed to succeed in all the endeavors I pursued? Obviously there are people who do and who still commit themselves to God. But in my case, I wonder what would have become of me?
ReplyDeleteWell said, my sister. Thank you.
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