August 5

Chapter 53 pt. 2

The Rule of St. Benedict August 5

As Sr. Joan points out regarding this passage, Benedictine monasteries functioned as a hospice system within early Medieval Europe, with a constant flow of guests from all walks of life, and the instructions here about a separate kitchen and quarters for guests enabled the monastery to still be a monastery despite the traffic.  Part of the way the monastic atmosphere was to be preserved was for the instructions at the end of Chapter 53 to be followed regarding the interactions of monks with guests.  Monks are to be humble and kind to guests, but not necessarily nice.

Niceness, a perceived affect according to social norms, is a poor substitute for kindness, which is a genuine concern for the well-being of the other.  It is easy for some of us to confuse smiles and pleasant tones of voice with the things that make for true kindness and hospitality.  If we continue in this confusion for long enough, we become unable to distinguish between kindness and unkindness, hospitality and inhospitality.

My experience as a person who is generally considered to be nice is that niceness is entirely oriented outwardly. It is something I measure by what bounces back to me from the exterior of other people. My ego has been very successful at getting what it needs from this external exchange, and I have come to realize that it usually serves to keep me self-absorbed--caught up in my own self-interest. More introverted people, on the other hand, may exhibit self-absorption differently, but it's still oriented outwardly--concerned with relational or circumstantial phenomena--and it serves their self-interest as well. 

Now, an extrovert can be nice without being self-absorbed, and an introvert can be silent without being self-absorbed, but it's a matter of perceiving clearly what our motives are and developing a sense of ourselves that is derived from our inner and true identity, our life hidden with Christ in God, as St. Paul says in Colossians 3. When we act from that place, we are able to be truly kind.


Br. Chad 2012